Facing the Unknowns of a COVID19 Pregnancy

My last visit to the grocery store was a weird one, as many of you likely have experienced. It's what I imagine a grocery store to look like at the beginning of a zombie apocalypse. People fighting for parking spots, overflowing carts, patience-testing lines, aisles of toilet paper, rice, water bottles, baby wipes depleted and other shelves of food making their way there. And for how many people that were there, it was oddly quiet. My two-year-old daughter, who has no Coronavirus knowledge, broke the silence by waving at all these stressed out people, saying "Hi! How's it going?" smiling, bending her little body so she would catch some sort of response. I watched as most people, so focused on their stockpiling mission, completely miss this loud, happy little girl. It wasn't that they intentionally ignored her, but more like they never heard or saw her. They were so laser focused and fueled by panic and stress that they were blinded to see anything else. I found this picture convicting for myself during this crisis:

If I let worry and uncertainty consume my focus, I am going to completely miss seeing the joy, blessings, and peace God has right in front of me.

Now, this article is NOT meant to criticize or shame anyone. Fear is a survival instinct and it is natural to initially feel it during times like these. At the beginning of this pandemic, I worried a lot about my pregnancy and it is something I still struggle with as I write this. Being pregnant by itself adds so many crazy emotions and hormones to my life...but being pregnant during a health and economic crisis? That just adds another unknown layer to an already super emotional and scary journey. Living in lockdown paired with so many disruptions and unknowns is difficult to navigate, especially as I look down at that sweet little baby bump I am bringing into it.

I've read so many different things about pregnant women and the Coronavirus: that we are at high risk because of our "weakened" immune systems, that we really have nothing at all to worry about and our baby will be fine, and that research/evidence is too lacking to support either of those stances. So basically, it's a huge unknown for us pregnant mamas. On top of that, we have to wrap our minds around some very possible circumstances resulting from COVID19: What if I have to give birth alone? What if I catch the Coronavirus and have to be quarantined from my newborn? What if it causes a miscarriage or loss? etc. I initially let these unknowns dwell at the forefront of my mind and eventually found that I was reading more content about the Coronavirus than I was my Bible. It stole my focus from Jesus, who, the whole time, is waving his hand at me, trying to get my attention.

I realized that there is a very fine line between being cautious and mindful of the pandemic and being completely engulfed by it. I don't want to be apathetic or careless about the situation, but I should not dwell on it so much that it dictates my focus, robs my joy, and determines my peace. I want to worship God all the time, and especially, in times like these, when it's hard to.

I want my baby to be born to a mama whose joy and peace isn't deterred by what's going around her, because they are anchored to her faith and hope in Jesus.

I want this story of my COVID19 Pregnancy not to be one filled with words of worry or fear. I want it to be a story of how God used it to make me rely more on him, strengthen my prayer life, and deepen our relationship.

So, I've made a list of things I am doing and I encourage you to do if you are struggling with maintaining a Christ-focused life during this time of uncertainty:

1.) When you feel worry, remind yourself of a Bible verse

The Bible has so many amazing verses to help you combat fear during this time. Please find one that really sticks with you and encourages you. The one I have been meditating on is:

"And he is before all things and in him all things hold together." -Colossians 1:17

I repeat this verse to myself every time I start to feel an ounce of worry. It reminds me that God is not surprised about any Coronavirus news updates. He is not sitting in heaven worried about what will happen next, because He is before it. He is working before anything happens. He is holding things together and He is holding me.

2.) Tell God when you feel anxious

Every time I feel worried, I try to be 100% honest with God about it. This honesty opens a gate of vulnerability inside my heart, where Jesus steps in, holds me, comforts me, and guides me. God knows the difficulties we are going through and He actually WANTS to help us with it. Turning to other things to deal with stress and worry may momentarily distract you, but they do not heal the hurricane of stressful emotions stirring inside your heart. Every time I give Jesus an emotion that I don't want to feel, He ALWAYS replaces it with peace.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6-7

3.) Read the Good News

"Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad." -Proverbs 12:25

Since social distancing has given you much more free time, I encourage you to invest it in your relationship with God and dig deeper into His Word. If you JUST read Coronavirus news, you will feed your anxiety and worry for the future. If you read your Bible (the Good News), on the other hand, your faith will be strengthened, your perspective renewed, and you will be better prepared to handle anything the Coronavirus throws at you and your family.

4.) Unplug for awhile

Did you know that anxiety is contagious? In a NY Times article on the psychology of fear and anxiety, Dr. Judson Brewer writes,

"Our own anxiety can be cued or triggered simply by talking to someone else who is anxious. Their fearful words are like a sneeze landing directly on our brain, emotionally infecting our prefrontal cortex, and sending it out of control as it worries about everything from whether our family members will get sick to how our jobs will be affected."

I have strongly felt contagious anxiety during this time. Talking to friends who are worried about COVID19 and reading almost any Coronavirus content only increases the worry I already feel about it. I am not against being informed, but you might need a break if the information is making you anxious. For me, I need to constantly take a break from social media, which the Coronavirus has 100% infected. When I look through my Facebook to find sweet pictures of friends and family, I am instead bombarded post after post of COVID19 news and fears. If you sit at home and scroll through these negative and depressing news updates daily (because you are bored out of your mind), they will take a toll on your mental health and can easily send you in a dark space.

5.) Find the "Pollyanna" Perspective

Yes, the pandemic has cancelled a lot of things, but don't let it ALSO take away your appreciation of what it hasn't taken away. Write a list of things you still have and every morning thank God for them. For me, it's big things like Jesus, my family, a safe home, plenty of food...to small things like board game nights, a baby who is still kicking my bladder, 2 year old hugs, and home cooked meals. I love the quote,

"The things you take for granted, someone else is praying for." -Unknown

Sometimes I think we can get so consumed by our schedules and to-dos that we do not take time to truly appreciate what is right in front of us. Maybe the fact that COVID19 is forcing us to slow down isn't such a negative thing? Maybe God can use such a disruption in our agendas to instill a deeper appreciation for what we do have and a stronger reliance on Him? Maybe it can strengthen family bonds and unite our communities? Think of the positives that can come from this situation and take hope in that. God can restore the worst things and use them for His glory.

6.) Become a Prayer Warrior

This Coronavirus should motivate us Christians to have an even stronger prayer life. Pray daily for those who are high risk, healthcare workers, people struggling with finances, moms stuck at home with bored kids, etc. and ask for opportunities to serve them. I believe that this is such an opportune time to live out the gospel and love those struggling around us. Do not just use this time to binge all your favorite TV shows, but intentionally seek out ways to help your neighbors and especially those who do not have the hope of the Lord to lean on.

God has this mamas. He is holding the future, while He is holding you and your sweet baby. Trust Him, turn to Him, and let Him carry the weight of every fear, anxiety, and unknown during this time. I'm praying for each of you and please comment any specific prayer request you may have at this time, I would love to pray for you!